Lately I think my life has been full of Sweet Nothings. No, not the kind that are whispered into my ear in the midst of passion. This is a different kind of nothing.
I've been enjoying my time with you lately. I have enjoyed my time with you since we started spending time together, but lately I have realized that it's different.
Is it me getting more comfortable or you feeling more at ease? Is it that our friendship is growing and that is changing how we see each other? Is it that we're being more and more honest with one another and with ourselves? Or, is it just sweet nothings?
Nothing to worry about, nothing to think about, nothing to analyze, nothing to blog about, nothing to talk to my friends about, nothing to be nervous about, nothing to cry about, nothing to notice at all. Nothing.
Yet, it lingers, so that I think it must be something. Something to hold onto, something to enjoy, something to giggle about, something to smile about, something to whisper to my sister about, something to put butterflies in my tummy, something to daydream about. Something.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Error Review
You know what’s cool about my job? Usually, when you make an error, you get this review the next day. The review says “Hey, you made this error, and I want to make sure you meant to. If you didn’t mean to make this error, then you should do this to fix it, before this policy is permanently messed up.” I think that’s very polite and helpful. Also, when you delete a policy transaction it gives you a choice “Are you sure you’d like to delete this? If so, do this.” When you close a word document it says “Would you like to save this before you close it?”
Wouldn’t it be great if life were like this? If, when you make a mistake or a bad choice, you could simply get a review the next day… “Yesterday you chose to say this or do this or behave in conduct unbecoming of yourself. Did you really mean what you said or did? If not, please do this to fix it before your life is completely fucked” and then there would be this great remedy which would make everything better. Same if you’d like to delete a behavior… “Are you sure you want to get rid of this certain behavior? If so, do this.” Or if something happened and you were ready to close that part of your life… if it was something good or something you should remember for a lesson you’d have the opportunity to save… or if it was something you’d just prefer not to remember… as if it never happened, you could just close without saving the changes to your life...
It might be hard at first, deciding what to delete, what to keep… but I think we’d get good at it and we’d all be better people… wouldn’t we?
Or… do we need to make those mistakes and suffer the consequences so that we can learn from them and make better choices the next time?
Wouldn’t it be great if life were like this? If, when you make a mistake or a bad choice, you could simply get a review the next day… “Yesterday you chose to say this or do this or behave in conduct unbecoming of yourself. Did you really mean what you said or did? If not, please do this to fix it before your life is completely fucked” and then there would be this great remedy which would make everything better. Same if you’d like to delete a behavior… “Are you sure you want to get rid of this certain behavior? If so, do this.” Or if something happened and you were ready to close that part of your life… if it was something good or something you should remember for a lesson you’d have the opportunity to save… or if it was something you’d just prefer not to remember… as if it never happened, you could just close without saving the changes to your life...
It might be hard at first, deciding what to delete, what to keep… but I think we’d get good at it and we’d all be better people… wouldn’t we?
Or… do we need to make those mistakes and suffer the consequences so that we can learn from them and make better choices the next time?
Thursday, December 18, 2008
True Love's Kiss
If your heart has been broken too many times to count, is it crazy to still long for, wait for, hope for, wish for... true love's kiss?
If you have endured so much pain that at times you were certain you would die of heartache, is it suicidal to reach for, ache for, quest for, dream of... true love's kiss?
If you have been walked on and lied to so much that you aren't sure you can recover, is it maniacal to believe in, trust in, rely on, count on... just one more person?
If you trusted someone once and pricked your finger on the spindle or tasted of the poison apple... could true love's kiss wake you from your eternal slumber?
If you are locked in the tower... is there a prince to climb up your long hair or search the countryside to return your glass slipper?
If you believe hard enough, long enough, strong enough... will a knight in shining armor brave giant thorns and evil dragons to breathe the life of true love's kiss into your heart?
If you decide that you can do it, that it can happen... is that enough? If you find him... if he finds you... if you profess undying love and sacrifice everything... is that enough? If he holds you close and whispers promises to you... if he's thoughtful and charming and perfectly imperfect... is that enough? If you talk and laugh and smile all night about life and silliness... if you sit quietly, knowing that nothing needs to be said... is that enough? If he sings to you in the wee hours of the morning... if he makes love to you and your bodies fit together like a delicately carved puzzle... is that enough? If one look from him can make you feel whole again... if his jokes make you smile through the tears... is that enough? If his voice can break through the clouds of disappointment... if one word from him turns your day around... is that enough? If he cannot turn his eyes from you... if you are in his thoughts as he drifts off to sleep at night and as he awakes in the morning... is that enough? If he holds you tightly all through the night and still he longs to be closer... is that enough?
Is all of that enough... or do you need a ring and a gown and a ball... must you have a public profession and signatures and gifts? Can you do it without something borrowed, something blue, and rice in your hair?
Do you need the fairy tale... or is having him enough?
If you have endured so much pain that at times you were certain you would die of heartache, is it suicidal to reach for, ache for, quest for, dream of... true love's kiss?
If you have been walked on and lied to so much that you aren't sure you can recover, is it maniacal to believe in, trust in, rely on, count on... just one more person?
If you trusted someone once and pricked your finger on the spindle or tasted of the poison apple... could true love's kiss wake you from your eternal slumber?
If you are locked in the tower... is there a prince to climb up your long hair or search the countryside to return your glass slipper?
If you believe hard enough, long enough, strong enough... will a knight in shining armor brave giant thorns and evil dragons to breathe the life of true love's kiss into your heart?
If you decide that you can do it, that it can happen... is that enough? If you find him... if he finds you... if you profess undying love and sacrifice everything... is that enough? If he holds you close and whispers promises to you... if he's thoughtful and charming and perfectly imperfect... is that enough? If you talk and laugh and smile all night about life and silliness... if you sit quietly, knowing that nothing needs to be said... is that enough? If he sings to you in the wee hours of the morning... if he makes love to you and your bodies fit together like a delicately carved puzzle... is that enough? If one look from him can make you feel whole again... if his jokes make you smile through the tears... is that enough? If his voice can break through the clouds of disappointment... if one word from him turns your day around... is that enough? If he cannot turn his eyes from you... if you are in his thoughts as he drifts off to sleep at night and as he awakes in the morning... is that enough? If he holds you tightly all through the night and still he longs to be closer... is that enough?
Is all of that enough... or do you need a ring and a gown and a ball... must you have a public profession and signatures and gifts? Can you do it without something borrowed, something blue, and rice in your hair?
Do you need the fairy tale... or is having him enough?
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